Joy

You have permission to find joy.

Writing is hard. It’s so challenging to put thoughts into comprehensible sentences, with structure and sense. I can’t even figure out how to start this post because, honestly, I just want to shout words everywhere. So, here it goes.

I heard this in a podcast once: there are things you do in life that are fun and there are things in life that bring you joy. They are usually very separate things. Writing is not always fun for me. Maybe, depending on the topic or the timing. Most of the time, it’s┬áhard and raw and emotional. Joy is the things in life that can be such a fucking struggle. But, that feeling when you’ve accomplished those things? That’s joy.

It’s not to say I don’t have fun with my kid or that it isn’t fun for me to take photos or get outside to run on a gorgeous day. It’s just different. Fun is giggling and moments and short-lived. Joy is fullness and growth and forever.

I’m here to share my joy and celebrate joy. I have wrestled with the balance of myself & motherhood for 3 years. I swear; on my daughter’s 3rd birthday, I was re-born. In the beginning, motherhood, for me, was such a struggle. I love it with every fiber of my being. But, I finally felt like I had reached the pinnacle, the final summit. I could breathe again. Toddlers are a wild beast; do know that I am not living in a dream here. But, learning to be a bit more obsessed with myself again while wrangling the beast of toddlerhood is a joy.

So, here. I won’t say the word “joy” as much in every post here. But, that’s the foundation I’m starting with here. I don’t have a big plan. I just want to do this process while it truly does bring me joy. It may not last forever, but, as I’m learning, the years are fast and you’ve got to give yourself permission to find the joy in life. No matter who else does or doesn’t find it joyful. It’s all for you. Get it, feel it, make it happen.

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